


Michael Loves Play Rehearsal!

by Maraculate



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Based off the best YouTube video ever, Crack Treated Seriously, Doubt it, F/F, Fluff and Crack, George Salazar Loves Play Rehearsal, George is the best, I want kudos and comments, If you've seen the video you know what's going to happen, Is there any angst?, Jeremy Heere Is a Furry, Light Angst, M/M, Memes, Songfic, Sort Of, Vines, please read this, rated t for cursing, shitpost, that's kind of a lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 03:52:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15677493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraculate/pseuds/Maraculate
Summary: How do you get the attention of the boy of your dreams? Easy! You simply be yourself and-Model yourself after his latest ex-girlfriend. Duh.





	1. Michael's Big Fat Gypsy Crush

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyMwIb_J8dY
> 
> Now you can all be blessed.
> 
> Alternatively titled: I have too much fun with using the crossout text function.
> 
> Edit: AHAHHA I wrote Jeremy instead of Justin when referencing 21 Chump Street!

Alright, today was the day. Michael knew that TODAY was _the day_ that history would be made.

 

He was going to ask out his best furr- uh, friend! Out on a date.

 

Jeremy ‘Despacito’ Heere was his favorite person in the world. Well, no, it was actually Beyonce, Camila Cabello, Lady Gaga, Bob Marley, Ariana Grande, and Chris Hemsworth in that order. Jeremy ‘Despacito’ Heere was his favorite non-celebrity person. Well, no, that was also a lie. His favorite non-celebrity were his moms, but Jeremy was his favorite non-celebrity, non-family member.

 

Well, no, actually. His favorite person that wasn’t family or famous was actually Joe Iconis. The dude wasn't a great singer, but he was hilarious and was an excellent piano player. He was also the nicest person in existence. Even nicer than Christine, and that was an accomplishment. Honestly, Michael would not mind dating Joe, but he was definitely straight. Michael would know since Joe rejected him at the beginning of Junior year. Then it was Jeremy’s dad, of course. Mr. Heere was literally his dad since he had two moms. Like, Michael basically made his way inside the Heere family through hanging out with Jeremy.

 

Wait, so would asking Jeremy to marry him in the future be incest? Hopefully not. It also hopefully won’t be beastiality, either. Because, as much as Michael loved Jeremy, he was a furry. It was one of the truths of the universe. There were four truths to the universe.

 

Truth number one: Putting milk in before cereal was a cardinal sin.

 

Truth number two: Someone who picked Despacito as their favorite song unironically was probably Satan.

 

Truth number three: Gay people didn’t have an inner sassy black woman, especially white twinks.

 

Truth number four: Jeremy ‘Despacito’ Heere was a _fucking furry_.

 

Back to the original issue.

 

How was Michael going to ask out Jeremy? Easy.

 

Change everything about himself. Well, kind of.

 

Tonight was the Middleborough Music Menagerie. In layman's terms, it was the talent show.

 

And Michael was about to serenade Jeremy like how Justin serenaded Naomi. ~~Minus the prison time.~~

 

“The first act of tonight will be a performance by Michael Mell, who will be singing his rendition of ‘I Love Play Rehearsal’, written by our very own Christine Caningula!” Chloe read out. She only played announcer because the school paid her to. Lowkey, Chloe actually liked doing it, but she wasn’t going to admit it anytime soon. "Oh, and Joe Iconis will be playing on the piano."

 

“Hi!” Michael waved with a bright smile.  ~~He was bringing out his inner George Salazar.~~ His eyes landed on Jeremy’s in the crowd who just had a large grin on his face and a camera in hand. 

 

_“I love play rehearsal because it’s the best! Because it is fun!”_

 

Michael looked at Christine, who was sitting next to Jeremy ~~that bitch~~ and was giving him the thumbs up. He knew they weren't dating, but he was still a jealous cunt.

_"I love play rehearsal, and I get depressed as soon as it's done!"_

 

More like Michael got depressed when Jeremy left him for Christine! It wasn't like he spent countless nights crying to himself since ~~Jeremy whipped and naenaed out of his life~~ Jeremy left him for popularity and a girl. At least he was bisexual, so that meant Michael had a chance, right?

 

_"But not depressed as in like 'kill yourself' depressed. No, I'm not into self-harm! Dude, I swear, here, check my arm!"_

 

Michael even showed his arm. Jeremy cackled and Michael counted that as a win.

 

_"I just use the word to emphasize a point. Show the passion that I got! I am passionate a lot!"_

 

Yeah, passionate for the Jeremy booty that he wanted to burrow his  ~~dick~~ ~~~~love in.

 

_"I've got mad gigantic feelings! Red and frantic feelings! About most everything... like gun control, like spring! Like if I'm living up to all I'm meant to be!"_

 

Was Michael wrong for trying to make himself seem more appealing and different for Jeremy? After all, wasn't a healthy relationship made up of acceptance, love, communication, and respect?

 

Nah.

 

_"I've also got a touch of ADD!"_

 

Michael stepped off-stage and beelined to Jeremy. Everyone watched him with confusion and interest.

 

"What?" Jeremy chuckled.

 

Michael hit the dab and walked back up on stage like nothing ever happened. He readjusted his mic and cleared his throat. The piano started up again.

"Where was I?" He squinted at everyone. More laughter. "Oh, right!"

 

_"I love play rehearsal because you are equipped with directions and text! Life is easy in rehearsal. You follow a script, so you know what comes next!"_

 

Honestly, Michael couldn't even blame Christine for writing this song. It suddenly got him pumped to do a bad reenactment of something like Medea or maybe Kinky Boots, depending on his mood.

 

_"Anywho, the point that I'm getting to is sometimes life can't work out in the way. It works out in a play! Like the only time I get to be the center of attention is when I'm Juliet, or Blance Dubois and can I mention-"_

 

Michael stopped singing for a moment. "Um, before anyone laughs at me for not changing the lyrics to male roles, know that actors in the past had to dress up as woman since they weren't allowed to act! And let's be honest, the dresses make our butts look a bit too fat."

 

Howling laughter rang out. 

 

"Also, I'd like to think that I'm very vulnerable when I come on stage, you know? My friend over here, Joe Iconis-oh, and ladies, he's single!" Michael did jazz-hands. "Wow... Joe is so cool!" Michael whispered as he made a triangle with his hands over his mouth. Joe pursed his lips and looked ready to kill himself. "Love you, Joe. It all comes from a place of respect." Michael made a heart with his hands. 

 

"Can we get back to the song, please?" He asked.

 

More people were just losing it in the crowd at Michael's antics. Who knew he was so funny?

 

_"And no matter how hard I try! It's impossible to narrow down the many reasons why-y-y-y-y!"_

 

Michael did a few punches and stretches on the last few notes.

 

_"I love play rehearsal! I happiness cry whenever it starts. It's just so universal, getting to try playing so many parts!"_

 

Christine looked ready to run up and hug Michael until he suffocated she was so happy.

 

_"Most people do one thing, for all of their lives! The thought of that gives me hives!"_

 

Michael's voice went a bit serious on that note until he started scratching his neck after 'hives'.  ~~Way to ruin the moment.~~

 

_"I've got so many interests I want to pursue, and why am I telling this to you?"_

 

Michael kept scratching his neck as he gave the crowd his dumbest look possible. They laughed as Michael paused for about ten seconds.

 

_"Guess there's a part of me that wants to!"_

 

"There's also a part of me that wants to do this!" Michael told everyone. "If you know this Vine, continue it as the other person! Hi, my name is Michael with a B and I've been deathly afraid of insects my entire li-"

 

"Stop, stop, stop! Where?" Literally the entire student body asked.

 

"Hm?" Michael cupped his ear.

 

"Where's the B?" Everyone asked.

 

"There's a B???¿¿???" Michael's voice shook in a similar way to the original's. As everyone laughed again, he continued to sing.

 

_"Back to play rehearsal. My brain is like BZZZ. My heart is like **wow**! Because we're here at play rehearsal! And it's starting~! We're starting~! It's starting~! Soon... Oooooo!" _

 

Michael took a bow as he stepped off the stage. He received so many high fives that his hands hurt.

 

"Dude, that was amazing!" Jeremy beamed. "Since when could you sing?"

 

"Since always. I just decided that tonight was the night I had to reveal my secret talent." Michael winked at him.

 

"Well, it's a cool talent. For once, I'm being nice, so savor it!" Jeremy grinned. "I'm actually doing a song with Zoe Murphy. From Chemistry?"

 

"I'm sorry, what?" Michael's grin froze. Fuck, he was singing with Zoe? The third hottest girl of the seniors AKA their grade? "Which song?" He asked while his heart silently died.

 

"Bright by Echosmith? You heard of it?" Jeremy asked. Oh, Michael had heard of it.

 

And it was a love song.

 

Fuck, he was going to have to continue the Copyright Christine plan. It was a good thing he asked to sing two songs.

 

Hopefully Christine's other solo would win him Jeremy's heart.

 

"Good luck, dude! You'll kill it!" Michael shouted.

 

Oh, and Jeremy and Zoe [did](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru9D4DhlNck).

 

Michael's jaw dropped as he clapped it up for them. Shit, they sounded so  _fucking good_ together!

 

Well, Michael would just have to watch Jeremy and Zoey have bisexual babies together. Why couldn't Zoe just date someone else? Preferably, a girl incase Michael somehow developed a crush on a different guy?

 

As if Christine was a telepath, she tapped Michael on the shoulder.

 

"Zoe is dating Alana. Some college girl," Christine gave him a shit-eating smirk.

 

"So? Why would I care?" Michael lied as well as Pinocchio did.

 

"Michael, you sang a song I wrote and looked at Jeremy for most of it. I bet you would've sang 'I love Jeremy Heere' if you could've," Christine said.

 

"So, do you think that stealing the other song you wrote was a bad idea?" Michael tilted his head.

 

"Wait, what?" Christine's jaw dropped before it turned into a wide smile. "You didn't."

 

"I totally did," Michael gulped. "Oh, maybe I was a bit too extra this time."

 

"Just confess your feelings, please! I bet Jeremy likes you back! You didn't have to go this far!" Christine insisted.

 

"I love him so much, Christine! I'm so gay for him and it's actually embarrassing because even if he liked me back, he would never let me hear the end of it!" Michael hissed.

 

"That's what you get for liking your best friend! He's coming down, by the way."

 

Michael gave Jeremy a shaky smile. "You were great. So was Zoe."

 

"Really? I thought when I sang my first few lines, I was a bit too dramatic. Like-" Jeremy cleared his throat. " **Nights** are good! And that's the way they should be!" He sang. It still sounded beautiful without music. It made Michael melt into a stupid  ~~gay as shit~~ ~~~~puddle.

 

"It was fine, Jeremy. Besides, Michael's got another song," Christine said.

 

"Oh, uh, yeah. It's 'A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into' by Christine. Again."

 

"You're really acting like Christine tonight, huh?" Jeremy raised an eyebrow. Christine choked back laughter.

 

 ~~I'm actually acting like you around Christine, Jeremy, so shut the fuck up~~ "Yeah, I guess. Hope you enjoy the song, dude."

 

"If it's anything like the last one, I will. Even if you mess up horribly, I'll feel bad and then tease you about it until we're dead," Jeremy promised.

 

"Now, singing another song by Christine Caningula, Michael Mell with 'A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into' and joining him will be Joe Iconis! Ladies, Joe is single and gentleman, Michael is also single." Chloe winked at both of them. 

 

"Oh, dear God," Joe murmured.


	2. Michael Is Kind Of Into Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael realizes that being extra might cost him some dignity and wasted time since when it came to love, Jeremy was as dumb as a rock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your comments and kudos heere.

Michael went up to the mic for a second time, coughed twice into his sleeve, and stared at Joe with an apprehensive look. He gave Michael the thumbs up instead of giving him pity which Michael really appreciated.

 

"Oh, and helping out with the guitar, Jake Dillinger!" Chloe was loud, but her tone was less than enthusiastic. That got a good laugh out of everyone.

 

"Oh, I'm actually doing this," Michael realized. He was going to channel all of his inner feelings for Jeremy into the song. Love, a bit of contempt, a dash of annoyance, and barely a sprinkle of respect made up Michael's opinion of Jeremy.

 

_ "Say there's this person you pass in the hall everyday. You've known him since second grade." _

 

Christine looked a bit annoyed at the lyric change. Michael didn't care since he had known Jeremy for longer than six years. It was his confession song, too. Not Christine's.

 

_ "You're used to thinking about him in a certain way. From the persona that he displayed." _

 

Well, that was a bit of a lie. He liked Jeremy since they were ten, and they changed a decent amount in the last eight years. His love was as unchanging as a chameleo- wait.

 

_ "And then something changes. And he changes..." _

 

Michael literally looked directly at Jeremy. The flash of understanding that Michael expected didn't appear and he wondered how could Jeremy be so oblivious. Michael could punch Jeremy in the face and get a ten second reaction afterwards.

 

_ "From a guy that you'd never be into, into a guy that you'd kinda be into! From a guy that I'd never be into, into a guy that I'd kinda be into!" _

 

Michael used to look at Jeremy like he was his best friend. Now, he looks at him like he was his best crush-friend, whatever that meant.

 

_ "Is he worth it...?" _

 

Oh, shit, 'Jeremy' was the next line. If he said his name, then he wouldn't believe that the song was about him! Then again, even if he said Jeremy's name at the end, he would still find a way to let it go over his head.

 

_ "Iconis? Is he?" _

 

Joe looked stunned for a moment, but he kept on the song. 

 

_ "Is he talking about me? Wait, no way. I've rejected him before. Just keep playing, Joe."  _

 

Who knew Joe was so good at improv? And comedy?

 

_ "Say there's this person that you never knew that well!" _

 

Michael was still looking at Jeremy.

 

"He is totally into you!" Joe even looked at Jeremy. The human beanpole still hadn't realized it. At least, if he had, he didn't make it obvious.

 

_ "You thought that you had him pegged, but now you can tell, he's gone from a guy that you'd never be into! Into a guy that you'd kinda be into! From a guy that I'd never be into, into a guy that I'd kinda be into." _

 

Literally, Michael was about to slap Jeremy silly. He sent a telepathic thought to Christine and hoped she would receive it. She didn't slap Jeremy, unfortunately. She just raised her eyebrows at Michael with a knowing smirk.

 

_ "Is he worth it? Iconis?"  _

 

_ "Ab-so-lute-ly!" _

 

Joe gave him a quick thumbs up before continuing.

 

_ "I don't always relate to other people my age except when I'm on the stage. There are so many changes that I'm going through, and why am I telling this to you?" _

 

Michael turned to Joe and then Jake. They both shrugged. This got a few chuckles.

 

_ "Guess there's a part of me that wants to!" _

 

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha-" Joe and Jake continued on.

 

_ "I guess a part of me wants to, who knew? I guess a part of me likes to talk to you. I guess a part of me likes to, who knew? I guess a part of me likes to sit with you. I guess a part of me likes to, who knew? I guess a part of me likes to hang with you. I guess a part of me-" _

 

"Just admit your feelings instead of singing about them!" Jake interrupted. A wave of chuckles.

 

"No." Michael covered his mouth as he breathed the word into the mic. It resulted in a deeper voice that sounded like a troll of some sort.

 

_ "Back to play rehearsal. I know that it's weird, but it's totally true. The guy that I'd kinda be into..." _

 

Wait, shit. Who was going to say the next line? What if Jake and Joe sang it?

 

_ "The guy that you'd kinda be into!" _

 

Joe was there to save the day, as per usual. Jake just strummed his guitar.

 

_ "That guy that I'd/you'd kinda be into..." _

 

_ "Is..." _

 

It went eerily quiet as Michael looked at Jake. He just gave him a shocked stare.

 

"Heere!" Michael belted out. A few people murmured around. One of them shouted 'Who is it?' and Michael realized that he just messed up his confession. Any resolve he had to admit his feelings disappeared, and he guessed that he would just have to settle for the misunderstanding. 

 

Michael got off the stage and slipped Joe a five dollar bill for his hard work and excellent improv. Also, for embarrassing him on-stage.

 

"Hey, Michael, that was great!" Christine grinned ear-to-ear. "Very clever, that ending. You actually going to do it, though?"

 

She thought his ending was clever? Oh, well. "I know Jeremy is denser than a black hole, but I'm sure I'll muster up the courage!" Michael said, you know, like a liar.

 

"Good. I think Cosette from French class is going up." Christine pointed. "Take my place and sit next to Jeremy. Alone. And actually confess, okay?"

 

"Uh..." Christine left before Michael could give an answer.

 

He sat down with Jeremy anyway and he gave Michael a highfive.

 

"So, why don't I know about this mystery guy?" Jeremy tilted his head.

 

"I'll give you one guess."

 

"Is it Aaron from History?" Jeremy knitted his eyebrows. "Because liking him is like sticking your hand in a grease-fire."

 

"Jeremy, you will literally never guess it. All I can say is that the man is right here in this talent show," Michael said.

 

Two blinks at Michael. The Filipino wondered if steam would come out of his ears from how hard his brain was trying to work at figuring out Michael's crush. It was the e-yes situation all over again. Michael was in tears while laughing because they were both high and he didn't expect the joke to actually work.

 

"Is it Jake?" Jeremy wondered.

 

"He likes Rich, and no."

 

"Rich?"

 

"I'd rather electrocute myself."

 

"John from History?"

 

"Cute, but not my type."

 

"Gerard from Drama?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Oh my God, just tell me. You're right," Jeremy groaned.

 

"Jeremy, the answer is right in front of you. You're not looking hard enough. Just look!" Michael seriously had to spell it out for him?

 

Jeremy stared into Michael's eyes. Did his noggin start working right? If so, it was about time.

 

"Is it Jack, the dude who likes forests?"

 

"Oh my God," Michael facepalmed. "Jeremy..."

 

"What?"

 

"Jeremy..." Michael sighed. "Do I really have to tell you? Directly?"

 

"Michael, I understand that I'm a dumbass. You're just being stubborn!"

 

"It's so obvious who I like that a truck driving into a lake five feet away from you is more subtle!"

 

"I'll tell you who I like, then!" Jeremy tried. His face went a bit red.

  
  
Oh, here it came. Inevitable rejection. Michael would just never have to tell him and he would just spend the next eternity figuring it out until he got a new crush. Maybe it was a sign from God that it was time to move on from Jeremy. At the rate he was going, he was going to contract Hanahaki.

 

"I like-"

 

An uproar of applause interrupted Jeremy. Michael sighed and facepalmed. "Look, Jeremy, just don't tell me, okay? I don't want to know."

 

"But why not?" Jeremy hissed.

 

Michael's heart hammered in his chest. "I know that I'll have no chance with the person. No point in telling you." He knew that he was acting like a cliche highschooler, but admitting his feelings was harder than he thought, okay? It made his palms sweaty, his knees heavy, and yes, mom's spaghetti.

 

"Why can't I know? Maybe we can make it work out somehow for you!" Jeremy insisted.

 

"Jeremy, you oblivious moron, just look in a mirror and you'll figure it out!" Michael hissed.

 

"Look in a... mirror, what?" Jeremy stared at him like the dumbass he was.

 

"I've fallen in love with an idiot..."

 

"So your crush is stupid?" Jeremy prodded him for answers.

 

Michael gave him the most aggravated glare in history. "The dumbest. I'm idiotsexual, I guess. The boy I like is lucky he's cute or else he wouldn't have much going for him," he said through gritted teeth.

 

"Okay, so it can't be me. I entertained the idea earlier, but obviously, this guy has to be really hot," Jeremy rationalized. He sounded a bit disappointed rather than melancholic.

 

"I give up. It's you. There, I said it. You're my crush. That's what I said 'Heere' at the end. You're just so fucking stupid that I think half of my brain cells died," Michael groaned. "Are you happy now? Let me spell out the name of my crush. J-E-R-E-M-Y. You know what that spells, Jeremy? Your name. I like you in a more than best friends way. I will literally pull out my dad's shotgun and shoot myself if this somehow goes over your head," Michael ranted.

 

"You like me?" Jeremy pointed at himself.

 

"Yes. Yes, I like you, Jeremiah 'Despacito' Heere. You're the biggest fucking idiot on this planet, but I somehow fell in love with you. May the stars align, may the universe be reborn now that you've figured out something in your life, you oblivious moron."

 

"Wow... Michael, I'm flattered, but-"

 

"I don't want to hear the but, Jeremy," Michael sighed. "Anything you say before the word 'but' is generally meaningless in comparison to what comes after."

 

"Let me finish. I'm flattered, but why me? Why me when you're popular enough to date anyone else?" He asked. His entire face was a mixture of joy, relief, apprehension, and sadness. As much of a paradox it was.

 

"Who else would I like other than my best friend? I've liked you for eight years, and you've never noticed. Because you're a skinny moron," Michael muttered.

 

"Eight ye-" Horror dawned on Jeremy's face. "God, Michael. How did you put up with me? I'm so sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

 

"I have put up with you sin-" Jeremy's lips were on his. He didn't expect it, so he pulled away, breathless. Jeremy looked scared and anxious.

 

"Sorry, did you not want tha-"

 

"That was everything I've ever wanted. Just some warning next time." Michael pressed his lips to Jeremy's. Thank God they were at the back of the crowd or else they might've gotten berated for PDA.

 

The kiss was awkward instead of passionate and romantic. Imagine two wet seals pressing against each other or something. Kissing Jeremy was uncomfortable, but there was no one he'd rather be uncomfortable with.

 

"I like you too, Michael. I'm really sorry for being an idiot." Jeremy gripped his hoodie.

 

"Don't apologize for something that you can't change, Jere," Michael smiled. The veiled insult rumbled around Jeremy's brain until he slapped Michael's arm repeatedly.

 

"You're so lucky that you're my best friend or I would have never put up with your beratings!" Jeremy squawked.

 

"Aw, that's the nicest things I've ever heard you say to me!" Michael cooed. They both burst into a fit of chuckles.

 

"Want to ditch here for Seven-Sleven or P.F. Chang's?" Jeremy suggested.

 

"You're paying."

 

"Hey, that was almost funny!"

 

"Fuck you."

 

"That can wait."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this abomination deserves a part 3 so you all can enjoy or just cuss at me for wasting your time on a shitty end to a shitty story.

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder what Michael will sing next??????????????
> 
> This is the song Zoe and Jeremy sang if you somehow missed the link that was underlined in the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru9D4DhlNck


End file.
